What do you want for your birthday? Him!
by Bang You're Dead
Summary: Fiyero had waited all year for the day that was all about him, his birthday. But it didn’t exactly go according to plan and instead of getting presents he ended up as a present himself, while making two rather unusual acquaintances. Happy Birthday Dee!


**Author's note: Happy Birthday Dee! I hope you like it even though it's rubbish and there's a lack of cake. **

**I don't own Fiyero but I do own Dee (I brought her at a car boot sale). **

What do you want for your birthday? Him

Fiyero had been waiting all year for this day, a day all about him, his birthday. He woke up with a grin plastered on his face, waiting all the attention that was sure to follow. Fiyero waited patiently for the chorus of happy birthdays to start but all he could hear was Avaric's snores.

After an hour, Fiyero gave up waiting and shook his roommate's bed to wake him. As Avaric began to stir, Fiyero jumped back into his own bed.

"What's going on?" Avaric moaned, still half asleep.

"Oh I'm glad you're up. Do you remember what today is?" Fiyero prompted.

"A Saturday when I should be sleeping," Avaric complained.

"It's not just a Saturday ...," Avaric just looked on blankly, "It's my BIRTHDAY!"

"Oh yeah I bet you thought I'd forgotten, you're so gullible," he coughed, "I even got you a present." Avaric reached backwards, sticking his hand in the bin to receive his present.

"Happy birthday!" Avaric handed his best friend the present.

"A used tissue... what a wonderful gift," Fiyero sighed, dressing quickly and leaving for breakfast.

Fiyero was forced to sit alone in the empty cantine as everyone was fast asleep; it was eleven o'clock after all. Some birthday he thought to himself.

As Fiyero headed back to his room he was caught up by Glinda, clutching a bright pink box tied with a shiny pink ribbon.

"Happy birthday Yero!" Glinda squealed, reaching up to kiss him on the nose. Glinda grabbed Fiyero's hand and dragged him back to his dorm. Avaric, it seemed, had legged it, to find a quiet place to sleep so they were totally alone.

Fiyero sat cross legged on his bed as Glinda placed the box in front of him before standing back and jumping up and down excitedly. Excited that he'd finally got a present to himself, he ripped it open and was kind of surprised.

"I'm not sure it's really my colour," Fiyero held a bright pink dress full of ruffles and poufy material up to himself.

"It's not for you silly," she giggled, taking it and holding it up to herself, showing it was obviously her size.

"I thought you said it was my birthday present," Fiyero asked confused.

"It is your birthday present. I thought, you know, cause you love me so much, that you'd want your present to be something pretty you could see me in," she tried to explain.

"You think that's pretty? But anyway I can't believe you used my birthday as an excuse to buy yourself a new dress. This is turning out to be the worse birthday ever," Fiyero moaned head in his hands.

Hearing soft sobs, he looked up and saw Glinda with tears streaming down her face.

"Well, I ...," she gathered up the dress before running out of the room crying.

"Glinda!" Fiyero called after her, not trying very hard. He'd had enough of her moods and relished the quiet.

The door of his dorm flew open and an Elphaba with steam almost coming out of her ears, (she was that angry).

"I was coming here for your surprise party but if the tears running down Glinda's face are anything to go by I think it's now cancelled. So 'Happy Birthday', here's your present," she threw a wrapped up present violently at his face, "Sorry I can't stay longer but my **best** friend needs me," she stormed off in a rage.

Fiyero, completely alone and no longer liking the silence he was forced into, opened the present Elphaba had given him. Fiyero grinned as he realised just how much her loved her. In his hands sat the 5,000 word essay that was due in Monday, which of course he hadn't started yet. As he slid the pages apart, he noticed some writing in Elphaba's bold script on the last page.

"As I know you won't have read any of what I've written let me enlighten you. If you thought that I'd actually written your essay for you, you are a SUCKER!!" Fiyero glared, but couldn't help imagining Elphaba bursting out laughing as she wrote it.

With the weight of a mucked up birthday pressing down on his shoulders, Fiyero stooped to a level lower than he'd ever gone before, he logged on to .oz. Fiyero soaked up the detailed love letters and endless declaration of love while resisting the temptation to end the arguments over whom loved him the most by simply answering, "Come on girls there's enough of me to go around."

Deciding that he should spend his birthday with people that truly loved him, "I will be appearing at the Ozdust ballroom for signings at 2pm using the username Prince Fiyero himself. Grabbing his green jacket, Fiyero pulled the door shut as he set off for the Ozdust ballroom.

* * *

"Have you decided what you want for your birthday yet, Dee?" Deadie groaned, after trailing around the emerald city, going into shop after shop, she was fed up.

"Ummmmmmmmmmmm ... not yet," Dee smiled grimly.

"Dee, come on! Can't you just pick a book or something," Deadie complained, her legs killing her by this point.

"There's only one book I want," Dee explained.

"Which one? We just spend three hours in a bookshop why didn't you tell me then."

"I did ..."

"Not the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, I told you they don't have it/ I asked four separate workers, because of some even they're sold out. And anyway I thought you already had a copy of Wicked."

"I do but you can never have too many."

"I think you can Dee, I think you can. If you don't find anything soon, I'm leaving."

It was then that they saw a rush of screaming fan girls, mostly painted green and wearing Deeply shallow t-shirts that matched Dee's t-shirt.

"Do you know what the scariest thing in this world or any other is?" Deadie asked.

"A dead Fiyero?"

"No, a group of screaming fan girls with the object of their love almost in sight!" Deadie backed away from the ever growing crowd.

"Do you think he's really here?" Dee continued without pausing to let Deadie answer the question, "Well he must be, they're wearing Deeply shallow t-shirts instead of Wicked ones. I can't believe he's really here, we have to see him," she began to drag her friend through the crowd with drool falling from her lips so she thought about Fiyero.

"Wait a minute Dee. We came to buy you a present not to meet your Prince Charming."

"But we've come so far from the UK; when are we ever going to come here again. Plus count it as part of my birthday present."

"Fine, but hurry up. We don't have all day."

"Thank you, thank you thank you, you're my bestest friend ever!"

"I know. Come on Dee let's show these fan girls who's boss."

Giggling the two friends made their way near to the front of the queue, pushing and shoving anyone that got in their way. They were British after all, they know how to queue.

Already inside Fiyero looked in the mirror checking his hair was messing in just the right way to make the girls swoon. Deciding he was ready to embrace the fans that truly loved him for who he was, with that he walked on stage.

"Hi girls, I ..." he grinned as his words were cut off by the adoring fans declaring their love.

"If a couple of you gals come up at a time, then we can get to know each other better," he said, suggestively causing the girls to scream again.

There was a mad rush as the first few girls made their way on stage. Skillfully Dee and Deadie positioned themselves to be next up. When their turn rolled around, we climbing the stairs onto the stage when Dee finally decided, "I want a Fiyero for my birthday."

Instead of doing what a normal person would do and telling her friend she was mentally insane she did the crazy thing and agreed, after all, her name wasn't Deadie because she was normal. As they approached Fiyero, Deadie slid her gun out of its holster. Once they'd crossed the gap, Deadie was quick to turn her gun on Fiyero,

"Stay back or the prince-y poo gets it," Deadie called out into the crowd of fan girls now screaming in terror rather than love. She pulled out another gun, this time from the holster on her right.

"Dee catch," she called, throwing it and watching it clatter at Dee's feet before she grabbed it.

"If anyone follows us, I'll shot him," Deadie threatened not mentioning the fact that the safety was still on. Dee and her gun followed Deadie out the back of the ballroom.

"Umm...Deadie. I'm grateful and all that you got him for me, but we don't have a car and I doubt that we'll get very far with these," Dee pointed to the guns.

"Do you really think the Supreme Ruler of the Universe wouldn't have a plan?" Deadie said, looking at Dee as if she was mad.

"But I don't have a plan," Dee said confused.

"Dee we've been through is before; I'm the Supreme Ruler of the Universe."

"I'm sorry; you clearly missed the point when I was crowned Supreme Ruler of the Universe. Fiyero you decide," Dee ordered.

"Umm would you guys like a moment to talk it over? I can stand over there while you talk it over," Fiyero offered.

"No decide now and you might want to remember I'm the one holding the gun," Deadie smiled sweetly, tightening her grip on him.

"Anyway... I think our rides here," Fiyero changed the subject, before realising he was aiding his kidnappers but hey he had nothing better to do, he thought.

Deadie and Dee bundled Fiyero into the back of the car, before taking their seats in the front of the car.

"Ummm Deadie you do remember that you can't drive and definitely without your glasses!"

"The supreme ruler of the universe can do what she wants," and Deadie was right exact for the few close calls that almost caused them to turn into flattened mush.

Deadie parked the car outside Dee's house and then pulled Fiyero out of the car before realising their slight problem.

"Deadie how are you going to sneak him past my parents?" Dee asked worried they might have to return her present.

"Don't worry we'll put him in the basement," Deadie explained.

"I don't have a basement."

"You do now, it's my gift to you."

Dee and Deadie dragged the silent Fiyero down the stairs into the newly made basement and tied him to a chair.

"I'll leave you two alone, to get better acquainted," Deadie left leaving an ecstatic Dee and a surprisingly grinning Fiyero behind.

"Happy Birthday Dee!"


End file.
